


to be alone with you

by neckwear



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Royai - Freeform, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-27
Updated: 2016-09-27
Packaged: 2018-08-17 14:17:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8147194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neckwear/pseuds/neckwear
Summary: Roy doesn't mean to be so noticeable, and he understands how the Fuhrer figured out his weakness with ease, but he's a desperate man in love with a woman he can't have.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dearxalchemist](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dearxalchemist/gifts).



> a fic for my dear ace, who is such a talented, amazing person. I can only hope I've done her idea justice. I hope you all enjoy!

Roy finds every excuse he can to leave his office. The new soldiers put under his watch aren't half as good as the ones he had been deprived of, and the only one he can see is under close watch by the Fuhrer himself. 

Roy is miserable. 

One of his subordinates offers to take paperwork to a secretary to be filed, but Roy jumps at the opportunity to move around and takes the paperwork himself. He starts down the hallway and when he turns, finds Riza coming the opposite way, papers in her hands as well. He has to stop himself from running to her and stands at the end of the hallway. 

She's looking down, organizing the sheets and when she looks up, she slows to a stop. Riza keeps a good distance between them, but he notices something about her looks almost relieved to see him. "Sir," she says, nodding curtly. Her hands close around her files, holding them tightly to her chest. "What are you doing out and about?"

The small talk kills him. He wishes he could tell her everything, how awful things are without her and the rest of his team, how he misses her so. Instead, he makes a gesture towards the paperwork in his hands. "Taking care of something, that's all."

Riza raises a brow, a smile ticking at the edges of her mouth. "So you finally started doing your work when I'm not there, Colonel?"

He fakes a pout, he knows this is dangerous but he doesn't think such a simple thing could cause an uproar. "I always did my work."

"After I got onto you."

"You _were_ always especially unforgiving."

Riza smiles, it's a closed one but it still makes his heart beat faster in his chest. "Well, I'd hate for you to get any more behind, sir. It was nice to see you."

She shifts so she can salute him, and then ducks around him, and just like that she's gone. He turns, watches as she goes down the corridor and brushes her bangs away from her face. Roy doesn't mean to be so noticeable, and he understands how the Fuhrer figured out his weakness with ease, but he's a desperate man in love with a woman he can't have. 

Roy lets out a breath, and forces himself to go on his way instead of making himself any more obvious than he already is. 

\---

It's cold the day Riza bumps into Roy outside of Central Command. The two of them happen to leave for the day at the same time, and she admonishes herself for not bringing her coat with her. It had been nicer in the morning, but fall is in the air and her world had been so rattled that she didn't predict the obvious change in weather. 

"Lieutenant," she hears from behind her, and her steps falter on the stairs. It's one she hasn't heard it what seems like years and she is breathless and ecstatic all at once. Either way, she holds herself exceptionally still. 

She turns, sees him taking his coat off as he walks down the stairs. "Colonel. It's good to see you."

The emptiness of her words noticeably cause him to stall, but he recovers quickly. "It's chilly out, isn't it?" Riza simply nods, and waits for him to catch up to her. "Here."

Riza gives him a look of incredulity. He's holding out his jacket to her, watching her and waiting for her next move. "I'm fine." She gives him another look - _This isn't smart. You should know better._

"Really. You look cold." He returns her glare. _This doesn't look suspect. Relax._

"But won't you be?" she counters. He gives her a good natured smile, he is unfairly handsome and if she was any other woman she is sure it would make her knees shake. Instead, she swallows and holds herself tall. 

"You know me. I always run hot," he responds. His arm is still outstretched, he looks sincere and Riza simply sighs. 

"Thank you, sir," she says, and reaches out to take the jacket from him. "I'll bring it back tomorrow."

"Don't worry about it." Roy hands her the jacket, the smile has gone from charming to genuine and she knows he wants her to keep it. She grabs the coat and watches as he puts his hands in his pockets and starts down the steps. "I'll see you tomorrow, Lieutenant."

Riza doesn't move for a moment, but when he's a good way down the steps, she shifts to put the jacket on. It smells like ash and she gets a faint sniff of cologne, the scent is so like him that it comforts her. 

She pulls it closer, buttoning it up and wrapping her arms around her chest as she walks down the stairs. She tries to bury her noise in the smell, something so familiar. Roy is the only constant in her life and now he's been taken from her, but this gesture lets her know he isn't going anywhere. 

\---

Roy receives a letter from Grumman after one of their many games of chess. Roy has lost again, and while he claims he let Grumman win so as not to seem cocky, his whole equilibrium is off, and he can hardly focus on anything. 

Before leaving, Grumman suddenly remembers something he had forgotten to tell Roy. "I was asked to pass this onto you," is all he says. He doesn't need to say any more, Grumman is a smart man and Roy trusts him.

"Thank you, sir," he responds, and takes the letter from him. After finishing their small talk, Roy leaves as soon as possible. He turns the envelope over in his hands as he walks to his office, as swiftly as he can, and makes sure no one else is around before he opens the letter. 

He runs his thumb under the wax seal with precision. He is careful not to tear it up before he even reads the paper. He leans against the doors, and he scans the note quickly. 

Like everything with them, it's written in code. He is so well versed in their language, though, that it doesn't take him long to read through the letter. 

Riza has never been one to waste time and her letters are no different. Writing back and forth while he was in the Academy, or at home during the summer when he studied under her father made him well aware of that. Where he could drone on for paragraphs, she wasn't of wasting paper, a trait he finds endearing. 

_You shouldn't worry so much about me. I'll be fine. Besides, this position gives me an ideal way to get any information we may need. Trust me._

The frankness of the note makes him grin, despite himself. She is always on the job, always fiercely loyal. He loves that about her - they are separated but she doesn't rest in finding ways to help propel him forward, he finds it something unbearably wonderful about her. 

Roy flicks a flame from his fingers and burns the note, erases any chance of it being found. It disappears easily, falling to the ground in ashes. 

He goes through the rest of the day in better spirits than usual. Knowing she is still looking out for him, even under their circumstances, elevates him, makes him feel like he's walking on air, and he ignores the crazy looks his subordinates give each other throughout the rest of the day. 

\---

Riza finally leaves work late into the night. The clock reads nine o'clock and she sighs, remembering the paperwork she has yet to deliver to the Fuhrer. She gathers it up in a manilla folder as she leaves the office, making her way to one of the coat closets. 

She grabs her coat, still the one she borrowed from Roy. It's much too loose on her, the sleeves cover half her hands but she never bothers to roll them up. Riza turns, her eyes on her arm as she slides it through one of the sleeves.

"Need some help?"

Her head snaps up and she sees Roy looking at her, and he's closed the door behind him. She must look like a mess, she realizes, with only one arm in the coat and the other still holding her papers. She sighs, nodding and handing him the folder. "Thank you."

As she puts her other arm through the jacket, he stands a fair distance away. He doesn't dare look at her papers when he asks, "What are you doing here so late?"

"I have to take some papers to the Fuhrer," she explains, and takes the papers back from him. His hand lingers a second too long, and she swallows down her blush. "Although, it _is_ quite late...I'm not sure if they'll be up."

"Well." He dares to move towards her, and tugs the lapels of her jacket forward. "Be careful. It's cold out."

Riza nods, looking up at him. They haven't been this close it what seems like months, she knows the dangers of this but lets herself have this. "I will be, sir."

She notices how his mouth parts, and she doesn't stop him when he leans forward to kiss her on the cheek. She feels his lips ghost over her skin and she closes her eyes. "Colonel," she murmurs, the pit of her stomach tingles when she feels his eyelashes on her temple, his eyes half lidded. 

Roy moves away and she immediately misses the warmth of his lips on her cheek. He still stays close to her, his face only inches from hers and she wishes she could close the gap between them. "Have a good night," he says. 

It sounds so formal that it breaks her heart, and she hopes they haven't lost the rapport they had built up over the years. "You too, sir."

Riza forces herself away from him, walking around him, and she silently thanks whatever heavenly being there is that no one can see how flushed she is. 

\---

Roy sees her by happenstance. He's walking home, the weather is nice enough outside for him to take his time and when he looks on the other side of the street he sees her walking Hayate. 

Riza is in her casual clothes, her hair is down for once and she looks surprisingly at ease. Hayate stops and turns his head, he barks and Riza glances over. She sees Roy and her face flushes a dark shade of red as she tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. 

He is tired of having to watch her walk away from him. They live on borrowed time - they have to steal glances from each other, talk in complicated code and when they can be alone, they can only risk a few moments. They're both dreary, it must be a new kind of torture to separate him from the one person he could always count on, always love.

She looks away and down at the ground, at Hayate, who's licking his paw and waiting for her to move forward. He notices she has his jacket on, and that fact gives him solace. He's given her some sort of protection and for that he is proud. 

Riza tugs gently on Hayate's collar, and he stands immediately, listening as his mistress orders him to keep walking. They make their way down the street, and she keeps her head tall. That makes him even prouder, that she is strong even in such dire times. 

He commits her form to memory. He wants to run for her and speak to her, even if he can't think of anything safe to say, he just wants to hear her voice. He wants nothing more than to make her happy, because all of this feels like his fault. 

Roy watches as she disappears in the distance, and fights every urge he has to follow after her.

\---

The knock at her door makes Riza jump. She is still on edge, the cut from Pride is still fresh on her cheek and she is constantly looking over her shoulder. She snaps her fingers at Hayate, who had started barking at the door, and he backs down. 

Riza is pinning her hair up when she peers through her peephole. She had been getting ready for bed, but the knock halted her efforts. No one is standing outside her door - she is wary, but unlocks the door, albeit slowly. What she finds on her doormat is nothing short of a surprise. 

There is a vase full of flowers on her doorstep. The vase is simple, so are the flowers but they are still beautiful. She tilts her head to the side, her brows furrow but she picks up the vase anyways. After closing the door behind her, she searches for some kind of note in the bouquet and she isn't disappointed. 

She doesn't have to look at the handwriting or name to know it's Roy's. The stationary has a familiar thickness, it's white and the sides are patterned with stripes that blend into the color of the paper.

She flips it open, and the message is written in code but she's able to decipher it after a moment. It looks like a normal note, it isn't suspect and she feels a sort of pride at his forethought. The message is clear after she looks at it for a moment. 

_Don't worry. I'll figure out a way to fix this. Be patient. P.S. - I took care of the vase for you._

His name is signed underneath the short message, she can tell his pen ran out of ink because the end of his last name is fainter than his first. She reads the sentences over and over, until her vision blurs and she forces herself to flip the note shut. 

Knowing him, he's probably standing guard outside her home to keep her safe, or at the very least is up worrying about her. She shakes her head, a smile on her face as she sets the vase in the middle of the table and tears up the note into tiny pieces, so no one will see it. Knowing he sent it was enough for her - and disposing of it is what he would want her to do. 

When she sits down, Hayate whines for her, and she bends down to pet him, picks him up into her lap. He rubs his head under her hand and she sighs, running her hand down his back.

"How does he always know exactly what to say?"


End file.
